A lot of parents treat picky eaters like a given. Memes about kids who eat nothing but cheerios and chicken nuggets abound, as do memes about animal crackers all over the house and kids who aren't hungry at dinner but want a gogurt twenty minutes later. "Oh, yeah, mine do that too." "Have you tried letting him put ketchup on it?" "Wow, your kid eats raisins? You're lucky, the only fruit my kid eats is Welch's Fruit Snacks."
So when people meet my kids and see their eating habits, they are... incredulous. Because my kids eat literally everything. I've had to stop them from picking up the baby's... used... animal crackers off the floor ("But we like baby slime!"). So how did this happen? Did I starve them for weeks so even the most repulsive foods became desirable? Do I put ketchup on everything? Did I hire a voodoo practitioner to pull the stuffing out of a voodoo doll with my kid's name on it, to make their stomachs feel empty at dinner time? (No, it was rhetorical, you don't need to write that down.)
I will add the disclaimer that there may be a certain genetic component to my children's lack of inhibitions when it comes to their foods. My husband was raised on very plain homegrown foods, and what you got was what you got, they raised all their food and if chicken nuggets ever showed up on the table they didn't last long. So he doesn't remember ever having a picky moment in his life. I, on the other hand, didn't eat raw broccoli until I was twelve (and then only with loads of ranch) and I'm pretty sure I could vote before I enjoyed cooked broccoli. I honestly never ate any cooked vegetables at all as a child (unless you count ketchup.) It got a bit humiliating when I went to a friend's house and they had a vegetable soup for dinner that I literally couldn't even swallow--so awkward. Am I blushing? Am I pale? Let us never speak of this again.
So: in our family history there's a fair balance of "not picky at all" on one side and "Very picky" on the other. We have 4 kids now, and all of them eat their food, right down to the one year old. How did we accomplish this? I've got 5 main principles that anyone can follow, whether or not you believe in spanking (I do, but I try not to involve it in food fights if at all avoidable). Let's just stick with the ones that won't land anyone in prison for now, shall we?
NOTE--a child who seems particularly picky may also have sensory issues, undiagnosed allergies or even a tongue or throat malformation that makes certain textures difficult to handle, so rule out any of these problems before pushing new foods.
I mean, young. I mean I'm eating the widest variety of vegetables and organ meats I can get my hands on while I'm pregnant and nursing. And then I'm not introducing unhealthy carb-heavy first foods like rice cereal and cheerios; I'm starting with beans, cooked super soft, and a pureed/finely diced version of whatever the family is eating. My oldest child put up the strongest fight against certain foods, because when she was a baby we were living with a grandma who didn't like having us fight with her over food. So when we finally had a dining room to ourselves, there were food fights that lasted literally weeks (a jar of home canned green beans waited in the fridge, a few of which had to go down the hatch before every meal began until she finally started taking it like a man, by jove). The next kid we started forcing the issue at a younger age and it was much easier; and with children 3 and 4 we started training basically as solids were introduced and there have been almost no stand-offs.
This one can be tricky because sometimes you think the baby will like the chicken best and the broccoli least, so you start with the broccoli, but then they eat a ton of broccoli because they love it and aren't interested in the chicken. But if you're fairly confident you know what the baby's favorite food will be, you'll be best off introducing new foods or pushing known questionables when their tumbly is rumbly. Then when they've eaten an adequate quantity of the food they don't like as much, you bring in the reward of the food they like best.
I can't stress this enough: if you're going to have to leave in 20 minutes, now is not the time to introduce polenta or bring out the green beans that you know the baby doesn't care for. Every time you start a feeding that doesn't go well and then have to quit before the resistance breaks down, you're teaching the baby to resist and hold out for something better. So when you know you'll be leaving soon, do everyone a favor and feed a known favorite, and save new or less loved flavors for when you've got all day. And if you did start a fight, if you lost your head and put half a brussels sprout on the plate without looking at the clock, set a goal you can reach. If the first bite gets spit out, see that it gets swallowed and surreptitiously make the rest disappear. But you always have to win because kids are gambling addicts and if they win even twice in a dozen attempts they're going to keep playing the game. Don't. Let. Them. Win.
There are several vocal commands I've used with littles (four months and up) that have been useful. These all have inverse commands. So if I want the baby to feel something I say "touch," and if I don't want her to touch something I say "No touch." If I don't want her to bite a toy or my breast I say "no bite," and if there's a food I want her to eat I say "bite." Babies can learn these things very easily and at the very least it removes all doubt as to what you want from them when that spoon is soaring toward their mouth.
And while making sure they're hungry at meal time is important, I don't just mean in between meals. If a preponderance of their food intake is "snacky," they'll start rolling the dice that if they don't like the leftover shepherd pie for lunch, you'll probably end up serving quesadillas or frozen pizza for dinner. So the benefit of making sure every meal integrally involves vegetables is broad: not only will they be healthier, but they'll also see vegetables as "something to eat" and not "something that if you ignore it long enough it will go away." If they habitually eat veggies with every meal, if their palates are acclimated to whole grains instead of nutritionless junk, if the sweetest thing they might eat on a given day is fruit, you've practically won the battle already. They'll still get hung up on the occasional texture but you can help them through that with positive reinforcement and consistency.
A major component of our family's ability to save money has been the fact that I make all our foods from scratch and we eat a lot of beans. Even one picky eater could easily double our grocery budget, so I make a point of not having picky eaters. If your kids are already two or older and set in habits of pickiness, it's not too late; these techniques can work for you too, if you're willing to dedicate the time. But a diverse and healthy palate may well be the best gift you can give to your child, to help ensure a long life free from a myriad of ailments, so if you don't think you have the stomach for it I suggest you gird up your loins and do it anyway. Haha. But seriously, do it.
So when people meet my kids and see their eating habits, they are... incredulous. Because my kids eat literally everything. I've had to stop them from picking up the baby's... used... animal crackers off the floor ("But we like baby slime!"). So how did this happen? Did I starve them for weeks so even the most repulsive foods became desirable? Do I put ketchup on everything? Did I hire a voodoo practitioner to pull the stuffing out of a voodoo doll with my kid's name on it, to make their stomachs feel empty at dinner time? (No, it was rhetorical, you don't need to write that down.)
I will add the disclaimer that there may be a certain genetic component to my children's lack of inhibitions when it comes to their foods. My husband was raised on very plain homegrown foods, and what you got was what you got, they raised all their food and if chicken nuggets ever showed up on the table they didn't last long. So he doesn't remember ever having a picky moment in his life. I, on the other hand, didn't eat raw broccoli until I was twelve (and then only with loads of ranch) and I'm pretty sure I could vote before I enjoyed cooked broccoli. I honestly never ate any cooked vegetables at all as a child (unless you count ketchup.) It got a bit humiliating when I went to a friend's house and they had a vegetable soup for dinner that I literally couldn't even swallow--so awkward. Am I blushing? Am I pale? Let us never speak of this again.
So: in our family history there's a fair balance of "not picky at all" on one side and "Very picky" on the other. We have 4 kids now, and all of them eat their food, right down to the one year old. How did we accomplish this? I've got 5 main principles that anyone can follow, whether or not you believe in spanking (I do, but I try not to involve it in food fights if at all avoidable). Let's just stick with the ones that won't land anyone in prison for now, shall we?
NOTE--a child who seems particularly picky may also have sensory issues, undiagnosed allergies or even a tongue or throat malformation that makes certain textures difficult to handle, so rule out any of these problems before pushing new foods.
1. Start Them Young
I mean, young. I mean I'm eating the widest variety of vegetables and organ meats I can get my hands on while I'm pregnant and nursing. And then I'm not introducing unhealthy carb-heavy first foods like rice cereal and cheerios; I'm starting with beans, cooked super soft, and a pureed/finely diced version of whatever the family is eating. My oldest child put up the strongest fight against certain foods, because when she was a baby we were living with a grandma who didn't like having us fight with her over food. So when we finally had a dining room to ourselves, there were food fights that lasted literally weeks (a jar of home canned green beans waited in the fridge, a few of which had to go down the hatch before every meal began until she finally started taking it like a man, by jove). The next kid we started forcing the issue at a younger age and it was much easier; and with children 3 and 4 we started training basically as solids were introduced and there have been almost no stand-offs.
2. Worst for First and Best for Last
This one can be tricky because sometimes you think the baby will like the chicken best and the broccoli least, so you start with the broccoli, but then they eat a ton of broccoli because they love it and aren't interested in the chicken. But if you're fairly confident you know what the baby's favorite food will be, you'll be best off introducing new foods or pushing known questionables when their tumbly is rumbly. Then when they've eaten an adequate quantity of the food they don't like as much, you bring in the reward of the food they like best.
3. Don't Start a Fight you Can't Win
I can't stress this enough: if you're going to have to leave in 20 minutes, now is not the time to introduce polenta or bring out the green beans that you know the baby doesn't care for. Every time you start a feeding that doesn't go well and then have to quit before the resistance breaks down, you're teaching the baby to resist and hold out for something better. So when you know you'll be leaving soon, do everyone a favor and feed a known favorite, and save new or less loved flavors for when you've got all day. And if you did start a fight, if you lost your head and put half a brussels sprout on the plate without looking at the clock, set a goal you can reach. If the first bite gets spit out, see that it gets swallowed and surreptitiously make the rest disappear. But you always have to win because kids are gambling addicts and if they win even twice in a dozen attempts they're going to keep playing the game. Don't. Let. Them. Win.
4. Vocal Commands
There are several vocal commands I've used with littles (four months and up) that have been useful. These all have inverse commands. So if I want the baby to feel something I say "touch," and if I don't want her to touch something I say "No touch." If I don't want her to bite a toy or my breast I say "no bite," and if there's a food I want her to eat I say "bite." Babies can learn these things very easily and at the very least it removes all doubt as to what you want from them when that spoon is soaring toward their mouth.
5. Limit Snacks
And while making sure they're hungry at meal time is important, I don't just mean in between meals. If a preponderance of their food intake is "snacky," they'll start rolling the dice that if they don't like the leftover shepherd pie for lunch, you'll probably end up serving quesadillas or frozen pizza for dinner. So the benefit of making sure every meal integrally involves vegetables is broad: not only will they be healthier, but they'll also see vegetables as "something to eat" and not "something that if you ignore it long enough it will go away." If they habitually eat veggies with every meal, if their palates are acclimated to whole grains instead of nutritionless junk, if the sweetest thing they might eat on a given day is fruit, you've practically won the battle already. They'll still get hung up on the occasional texture but you can help them through that with positive reinforcement and consistency.
A major component of our family's ability to save money has been the fact that I make all our foods from scratch and we eat a lot of beans. Even one picky eater could easily double our grocery budget, so I make a point of not having picky eaters. If your kids are already two or older and set in habits of pickiness, it's not too late; these techniques can work for you too, if you're willing to dedicate the time. But a diverse and healthy palate may well be the best gift you can give to your child, to help ensure a long life free from a myriad of ailments, so if you don't think you have the stomach for it I suggest you gird up your loins and do it anyway. Haha. But seriously, do it.
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